You will live in my spirits forever - Appa
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The way you lead your life is very simple, honest and modest. As soon as I saw you , took your blessings , I hugged you very tight and could not control my tears. You consoled me saying this is common to humanity and not to worry. I did mention to you that I will l not leave you and go away, thats when you were very very happy and I could see smile and contentment in your face and its the relation we share and care. After all, you did not expect anything from me except my presence next to you in your final days.
When I learnt from the doctor that you have oesophagael cancer on 4th stage, each time when I met doctors I could not talk to them at all , it was impossible to control my tears but on the same note one thing is certain that I am very lucky and fortunate that I was with you till your last breath ( cancer happened for a reason and I am connecting the dots in a bigger scheme of things....) and be able to serve you at my best. I saw you smiling, eating food, drinking hot water , ragi ganji ,coffee that you always liked, We did catch up on all the topics of our likings. I also saw you have slowly stopped speaking( beacuse of issues in food pipe, severe cough etc etc) and started using sign language last 2 days. I could see you had lot of trouble breathing and I followed doctor's recommendation of nebulization just as a protocol.
With your pain and frustration ,You woke up few times and you wanted to sleep next to me on the floor in the same room.
I am extremely sorry I yelled at you on couple of occasions. I could have done a better job during my viral fever days. Please forgive me.
You mentioned that you are very much satisfied with the life you lead and never forget to thank God for this beautiful life and the blessings. You also mentioned that you have no unfulfilled interest left that I need to take care of , what a life , what a life !!! In your last few days , You wanted me to chant veda mantras and I did read out loud every day and every single day and you were happy, blissful and thankful after the chanting session and you were always chanting rama nama/om namaha shivaya till your last breath. I could not control my tears when you started folding hands to thank me for cleaning you, giving bath and changing your dress and making you feel fresh each time. Someone close to you told me that you will attain eternal salvation(mukthi) as he has seen you closely living the life with so much contentment and happiness with a gratitude and a wonderful attitude.
You had close to 40-50 relatives visiting you in the hospital and at home and I could see the joy on your face when you met them. Close to 250 people saw your body after the praana is gone and everyone had one common thing to say "very nice man, good and simple man "
You were happy seeing grand kids and learnt many things about them, you even learnt how to take photos in iPhone. Your enthusiasm to learn new things even on the death bed is something I want to adopt. When you were discharged from the hospital lot of people were pleasantly surprised that you were coming home. Known people told me hardly 10% of cancer patients go home from hospital on 4th stage and told me that I am lucky that we were coming home. When you started walking and came down on your own to take a cab, lot of people were surprised again. Your zeal and enthusiasm to do everything on your own is again something I want to adopt throughout my life. You lived very simple , honest and fulfilling life. Each day of your life is a great lesson (for me nothing less than Bhagadgeethe) that I repeatedly want to read and follow.
You might not be there in the physical form today but your spirit is with me.... Thank you for your blessings and a beautiful life, Appa !!!
https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=Subbu%20Padmanabh%20appa
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The way you lead your life is very simple, honest and modest. As soon as I saw you , took your blessings , I hugged you very tight and could not control my tears. You consoled me saying this is common to humanity and not to worry. I did mention to you that I will l not leave you and go away, thats when you were very very happy and I could see smile and contentment in your face and its the relation we share and care. After all, you did not expect anything from me except my presence next to you in your final days.
When I learnt from the doctor that you have oesophagael cancer on 4th stage, each time when I met doctors I could not talk to them at all , it was impossible to control my tears but on the same note one thing is certain that I am very lucky and fortunate that I was with you till your last breath ( cancer happened for a reason and I am connecting the dots in a bigger scheme of things....) and be able to serve you at my best. I saw you smiling, eating food, drinking hot water , ragi ganji ,coffee that you always liked, We did catch up on all the topics of our likings. I also saw you have slowly stopped speaking( beacuse of issues in food pipe, severe cough etc etc) and started using sign language last 2 days. I could see you had lot of trouble breathing and I followed doctor's recommendation of nebulization just as a protocol.
With your pain and frustration ,You woke up few times and you wanted to sleep next to me on the floor in the same room.
I am extremely sorry I yelled at you on couple of occasions. I could have done a better job during my viral fever days. Please forgive me.
You mentioned that you are very much satisfied with the life you lead and never forget to thank God for this beautiful life and the blessings. You also mentioned that you have no unfulfilled interest left that I need to take care of , what a life , what a life !!! In your last few days , You wanted me to chant veda mantras and I did read out loud every day and every single day and you were happy, blissful and thankful after the chanting session and you were always chanting rama nama/om namaha shivaya till your last breath. I could not control my tears when you started folding hands to thank me for cleaning you, giving bath and changing your dress and making you feel fresh each time. Someone close to you told me that you will attain eternal salvation(mukthi) as he has seen you closely living the life with so much contentment and happiness with a gratitude and a wonderful attitude.
You had close to 40-50 relatives visiting you in the hospital and at home and I could see the joy on your face when you met them. Close to 250 people saw your body after the praana is gone and everyone had one common thing to say "very nice man, good and simple man "
You were happy seeing grand kids and learnt many things about them, you even learnt how to take photos in iPhone. Your enthusiasm to learn new things even on the death bed is something I want to adopt. When you were discharged from the hospital lot of people were pleasantly surprised that you were coming home. Known people told me hardly 10% of cancer patients go home from hospital on 4th stage and told me that I am lucky that we were coming home. When you started walking and came down on your own to take a cab, lot of people were surprised again. Your zeal and enthusiasm to do everything on your own is again something I want to adopt throughout my life. You lived very simple , honest and fulfilling life. Each day of your life is a great lesson (for me nothing less than Bhagadgeethe) that I repeatedly want to read and follow.
You might not be there in the physical form today but your spirit is with me.... Thank you for your blessings and a beautiful life, Appa !!!
https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=Subbu%20Padmanabh%20appa
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